PG Pool Newsletter -- August 21

Highlights (if I dare call them such)

This weekend: Members’ Meeting, PGP T-shirt sale, Live Music/Foodtruck,
Kids’ Triathlon

Next Weekend (The Last One): Volleyball & Ping-Pong Tournaments; Lost &
Found Sale; Stuff & Things

This weekend:

Members’ Meeting – Your twice-a-season (bi-seasonal? May I patent that
as a new gender identity?) opportunity to tell us how well the pool is
doing, how much you like the other members, how swimmingly everything went
this year and what a fantabulous group the board is has come around again.
We will ensure that your effusive praise is allowed to shower over us, like
the rose petals in American Beauty. And, of course, for those of you who
would like to raise contrarian voices, a special meeting will be arranged
at a date and time to be named later.

The meeting will take place on Saturday at 4:00 p.m. The agenda is as
follows and refreshments will be served. (It’s the only time you get
anything gratis from us, so cherish the moment.)

• Financial Update (where we tell you exactly how we frittered away your
membership fees this year).
• Proposal for New Co-op Fees for 2013 (where we tell you how we will
extort more money from you next year).
• Proposed Improvements for 2013 (where we tell you we will waste your
money on frivolous projects favored by board members next year).
• Membership Update (where we tell you how we will make gaining entry to
PG Pool even more difficult next year).
• Board Elections (where we tell you who will be responsible for making
your lives a misery next summer).
• Committee Assignments (see above: where we show you how the
melancholia, drudgery and general ineptitude will continue in perpetuity).
• Any Other Business/Questions & Comments from Members (where we ignore
your gripes, dismiss your complaints and generally make you feel that you
have no stake in the running of PG Pool while smiling and nodding in a
patronizing fashion that is guaranteed to drive you insane).
• And for those who attend, PG Pool T-shirts will be on sale for $10 a

Live Music – Authentic blues and convincing hokum, or so it says here: They will bring the above proceedings to an abrupt
halt. Most likely a food truck as well. Details will follow when we make
them up in a convincing enough fashion. From 6:00 p.m.ish.

Sunday – The 4th Annual Kids Triathlon at PG Pool. [If ever there was an
example of parents putting too much effort into entertaining children, this
may be it. But please, don’t bother to show me how wrong I am. And of
course, many, many thanks to the parents involved.]

Sunday, Aug. 26, 3:00-5:00pm

Sign up your 4- to 12-year-olds [a watered-down version for younger folks
follows] for the kids Tri-, Bi-, or Uniathlon at PG Pool [you see, they
even dilute the integrity of a triathlon by offering easier versions]. Kids
will run, bike and swim (or some combination of their choosing) , with an
award for all awaiting them [ya see, I wrote that previous bit before I
read this far]. No worries if your child cannot swim or bike well [or at
all, apparently]. Flotation devices of any kind are optional (arm floaties,
boogie boards, noodles, parents...) and anything that has wheels is
allowable (training wheels, three wheelers, scooters...). [Can we just
allow the parents to do it all and put us out of our misery?]

COST: $2 fee per triathlon participant at the check-in desk. Non–PG pool
members will pay an additional $2 per family member at the pool reception
desk. [I propose that we start a fund to sponsor kids who do it all
themselves with no parental involvement. We can fund it by fining parents
who even glance in the direction of the event – apart from the
organizers, of course.]

VOLUNTEERS: Help from parents on the day of the triathlon will be
appreciated. [No, I think it’s mandatory.]

CHECK-IN: 3:00 inside the PG pool grounds to the right of the reception

PRE-RACE ORIENTATION: 3:15 at the soccer field to the right of the pool.

1) Run—at soccer field.
2) Bike—at community center parking next to the soccer field.
3) Swim—in the lap lanes of PG pool. Parents need to be in the pool
helping their child as needed.
4) Awards Ceremony—immediately following the swim. All children will
receive an award for doing their best.

REGISTRATION: Contact Charles or Carol Spring at (202) 483-2496 or email

Send name of child, age and preferred email and phone # for adult
registering the child.

RACE-DAY CONTACT: Contact Janessa Cobb at (202) 250-1757 or Lorie Preheim
(202) 669-6066.

Hope to see you there! [Can’t wait]

To show you that inclusivity has no bounds, Nicole Lucier
[nlucier(at)gmail(dot)com] is keen to include the younger set: “Anybody
with 2-3 year olds interested in a mad dash, push bike, plus noodle/floatie
jump version of a tri/bi/uni? :-)” [Contact her, not me.]

Next Weekend (The Last One): Volleyball & Ping-Pong Tournaments; Lost &
Found Sale; Stuff & Things

Details and timings for all of these will follow next week. But we aim to
have a new ping-pong table on site by then; the same volleyball court and
your last chance to buy back whatever your kids left behind.

Your jet-lagged but nonetheless somewhat-enthusiastic scribe,